what a cac(tus)!

Each time I pass my local florist where I see rows of brightly flowering cacti, I can’t help but wonder what the secret is in getting these spiky delights to bloom. Despite a great show of colour when I purchased it, my own cactus (which I’ve previously featured on my blog here), stubbornly refuses to flower – no matter what diet and living positions I offer as way of enticement.

So the other day while passing, I spontaneously went in to see if the florist could offer any tips on getting cacti to flower. “Excuse me, ma’am”, I started. “I’ve been admiring your colourful cacti, and can’t help but……” “The flowers are fake” she shouted, abruptly cutting me off. “They are pinned onto the cacti. They come like this from Holland.”

photo (12)

Sure enough, on closer inspection, the flowers were made of plastic. True to the florist’s word, they were rudely pinned to each little cactus, in a fraudulent display of gaudy colour. And as my own cactus glares at me, triumphant in its prickly green glory, I am still no closer in knowing how I can coax it to flower.